Sleep deprivation is definitely a thing!

For the past two weeks, my husband and I have been walking around, barely capable of forming full, let alone articulate sentences, thanks to sleep deprivation.

Why? Our DT (Darling Toddler) decided to set the sleep agenda.

And while the first couple of days revealed no sweeping changes from the norm, it wasn’t long before DT went from being a 7pm – 7am sleeper who enjoyed her 2-3 hour midday nap (and mummy the much needed down time to do little things like write and run a business), to being bright-eyed and bushy tailed from 2:30am EVERY DAY, demanding to be held and slowing for an hour or so only in the middle of the day.

Not surprisingly, it wasn’t long before we were all shattered.

Why? Because ‘we’, DT’s LPP (L-Plate Parents) blindly followed the whimsical demands of a cheeky 17 month old, rather than hold tight to the tried and tested art of confidently and expeditiously resettling.

That’s right! In our sleep deprived delirium, we discarded all that we’d been told (by actual experts) in favour of DT’s demands.

Why?

We were exhausted by the juggle of life.

What we’ve learnt (once again) when it comes to DT, while routine is important, consistency is EVERYTHING!

And you can only be consistent if you have the CONFIDENCE to do so.

Below are a few insights for maintaining the confidence to be consistent…

• You’re the adult and you know better . Trust me, you just do!

• Sleep is crucial – for DT and you – to be happy, healthy and well (behaved). This is an important thing to get right as soon as possible. Sleep is the best present you can give your child.
• During this process, DT is going to scream blue murder, call out for you and you’re going to want to run in, scoop DT up in your arms and ‘fix’it. But that won’t work.
• If DT does wake up, be expeditious and economical with your words (‘Shhhhh… good girl/ boy. Now back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.’) when you re-enter the sleeping zone (aka DT’s bedroom) and DON’T ever use DT’s name (it’s a call to action, to pay attention which is NOT what you  want from them right now).

L-Plate Parenting is about stumbling and picking yourself back up to ensure you catch DT before they fall.

Getting DT in a sleep routine is bloody tough and anyone who tells you differently, either has never had kids or can’t remember how events transpired in the haze that is L-Plate Parenting.

Letting DT cry is against every natural instinct. It hurts to hear your child cry let alone scream for you repeatedly.

This is where you have to dig in and remember, why you are doing this.

Can you remember why you are doing this…?

You are doing this to get DT into a positive mindset around the joy of sleep and into a proper sleep routine, which is NOT solved by picking DT up and rocking him/her back to sleep.

It is the time however, to give DT the tools s/he needs to enable them to enjoy the exquisitness of slumber and learn the art of self settling.

Routine is a good thing!

Our evening routine is brilliant in its logical ease and predictability: dinner, bath, pj’s, teeth brushed, hair dried/ combed, sleeping bag, lights out, book, cot, ‘night night’.

There are a few must dos, good to dos and nice to dos which may (or may not) prove helpful too:

• Make sure DT has a full belly before you start your bedtime routine. If you have a fussy eater, then a cup of milk is a healthy way to fill them up
• Bathtime is a great reset for getting DT to start winding down for the night.
• When you’re stepping through the evening routine, tell DT what success looks like:

‘First we’re going to have a bath, then change you into your comfy pyjamas, brush your teeth and dry your hair. Okay, now’s it time to turn out the light/ shut the blinds/ curtains; read a book and then I’m going to put you in your cot so you can have a wonderful sleep. Does that Sound good? It sure does!’

• Cuddle DT close on your lap (don’t rock or pat) and read DT a story (The very hungry caterpillar is a winner in our house – and only a 3-5 mins read depending on who is turning the pages!)

• When the time is right tuck DT firmly into her cot an if you use a sleeping bag, make sure it’s laid out flat and not scrunched up underneath them. Afterall, now that DT is in the cot, you want to do everything you can to support their desire to be there!

• It’s okay to let a bub scream. Seriously.

Midnight Screams

The length of scream time that is appropriate varies depending on DT’s age.

This is where we, LPP’s came horribly unstuck.

We thought we had a 20min only scream limit on DT, when in fact, she is now at the age where she could (can and did) scream the house down for a couple of hours one morning pre-dawn, until she broke us, and won her desire for cuddles with mummy and daddy in our bed!

Throughout this process it’s important to support each other and stay strong.

There are going to be times when everyone has a cry, can’t stand the screaming any longer but this is when you have to remember who this is all really for – DT.

And as a caring LPP, you are just trying to give DT the best present you can ever give him/ her: The Joy of Sleep.

So stand firm, stay strong and in a calm voice confidently reiterate the process your stepping through to give DT the priviledge of a good nights sleep.

…and may the force be with you 🙂